Thursday, July 29, 2010

I am NOT bitter, depressed or crazy!!!!!

Dear people in my life,

I am NOT depressed. While what is happening and has happened with my fertility is beyond frustrating I am still a happy, health person. I love my husband with all my heart. He is a great support system for me. He is super funny and as sweet as sweet can be. He cooks, he cleans, he treats our doggies like gold and he's easy on the eyes!! I am not ashamed of my feelings. I KNOW I am not the only infertile girl with these strange thoughts and feelings. I read TONS of fertility blogs and its a little community of woman who feel just like me. I would never EVER let anything in my life take over in a way that would destroy me. I am feeling all of these emotions at this point in my life because I am in limbo. I want babies, don't know if I can have them. I want to start the IVF process but we are short the funds. So the things you read and the emotions I have are  complete and total frustration. LIMBO!!! Not depression. I would never let problems in my life take over. I would never lay down and die. I am a very emotional person. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I am quick tempered. I need to get shit out. Everyone who know me should know at least this about me. Oh and I am not desperate. I want something and don't know how the fuck to get it. Its frustration not desperation. This is not the end of the road for us. Many blogs I read say blogging is like journaling. It's a way to write down all the sad, crazy thoughts that clouds your head. Don't read more into the shit I write than need be. If I need help or feel depressed Jason will be the first to call and let you ALL know. If you truly question my sanity call Jason. He may tell you I bitch a lot about stupid stuff but over all seem to be handling life just fine. Thanks for caring. I don't mean to cause alarm. This is a process so get on my crazy train and enjoy the ride!!!!! Got it??? Good.

Yours Truly,


1 comment:

nennermommy said...

I want you to know I love you!!!! I want to fix this for you so bad!!! I hate that I am so far away. I am so sorry if I hurt you babe :)