Thursday, July 8, 2010
K.A. this is for you. Thanks for listening.
I think about babies every moment of everyday. I look at my husband and my heart breaks to think I may be the cause of his fatherless future. But I need to remain positive. I need to believe in science and my body. I sometimes think I would love to adopt a sibling group and a ton of animals. Then I think, well what if the universe really wants me to adopt and that’s why I can’t have babies. This is my own private little daydream, not my husbands. But really, thoughts like those help me feel not so desperate about our situation. Thinking outside the box makes me feel like we WILL be a parents one way or another. To be honest I have searched http://www.adoptuskids.org/ more than once. And let me tell you what THAT WEBSITE IS HEART WRENCHING.
Months and months ago I noticed an all boy/male sibling group, needing a forever family in Louisiana. Three little guys, Randy (12), John (10) and Jimmy (9). They, of course, want to be adopted together, AS A FAMILY, BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT THEY ARE, A FUCKING FAMILY!!!! They want to live in the country (US TOO) and Jimmy loves bananas (ME TOO and so does Gizmo). Seems like the perfect match. Sign me up!!!!! I often daydream about adopting these little guys and living in the country. I check the website from time to time to see if they have been adopted, NOPE!!! Ugh. And then there is Jason (11). His brother Micah has been adopted and Jason is still waiting for a family. WHAT THE FUCK people?? These poor babies need a family ASAP. So you see, is me not being able to have babies the universes way of telling me/us……. ADOPT. Well Mr. Universe these are just my daydreams. My husband DOES NOT search the internet looking for babies that need a mama. No, that’s just my crazy ass. But really Universe give us at least one shot at having a baby. I would like at least ONE HEALTHY baby!!!!! From there we can talk adopting babies and animals and saving the world. I truly hope with all my heart and soul that Randy, John, Jimmy and Jason find amazing families that treat them like GOLD. I hope life stops throwing grownup problems at them and that they are able to live a beautiful life in the country, eating bananas.