Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Bye bye 2012!

It’s been a very long time since my last post. I've missed my blog girls! A lot has happened in 2012.

This summer I had another tubal pregnancy. I've lost count at this point! We've become numb to loss (grumpy outlook, I know).

In October one of my husbands sisters asked to meet with him in private. She said she had something important to talk to him about. She told him her 21 year old son and his 21 year old girlfriend were pregnant and they wanted to place the baby for adoption. She asked if we would be interested. UMMM YES PLEASE!!

We met with his nephew and birth mother  They said they were not in a position to keep the baby. After meeting we were all on the same page. We had a plan, a very open adoption that everyone felt comfortable with and all seemed as good as good could be. The birth mother was positive she was making the right decision no matter how many times we tried to question her or change her mind. She knew what she wanted for her baby and no one was going to change her mind. Adoption was her idea and hers alone.

Time went by, each time we spoke we all reassured each other of our intentions. An attorney was hired, paper were signed, baby items were purchased, they asked us to pick a name for the baby, maternity clothes were purchased, a baby shower was planned and then BAM, she changed her mind. Just like that. Back to square one.

We are not upset with them. We want them to keep their baby. We want them to grow up and work it out. It’s just painful how it all went down. 21 year old's are a bit selfish and can NOT begin to imagine our disappointment. But life goes on. Lesson learned.

This just happened a couple weeks ago. Life feels normal again. The sadness has lifted. But we were so close, closer than ever before to being parents. It has left us wanting to try IVF again now more than ever. 
So here we are once again scrambling to raise $15,000 for an IVF cycle. This time around we are using ARC.  With ARC we can do one fresh cycle and one frozen cycle (only if the frozen is needed) for a little over $12,000. I have a bit of unused medication from our 2011 cycle so that should save us a few pennies on medication. Whew!! 

Without the help of my mom and two of my sister-in-laws I wouldn't be able to continue this path. Jason and I are maxed out. The stress and disappointment is more than we can even express at this point. We need all the cheerleaders we can get. So… GAME  ON!!

Next step on this roller coaster ride, MONEY!! Wish us luck.


Lindsey said...

My heart is breaking for you just reading that post. I'm so sorry that the adoption fell through. I'm so impressed (as always) by your positive attitude though! I'm excited for what your future has to hold because no matter what you'll embrace it!

happy new year!

Michael said...

Wishing you luck in 2013. Hope this year brings some great news.