Monday, May 31, 2010

Little bits of craziness fill my head and I blame it on Target

Sometimes I cant help but "hate" pregnant strangers and women with newborn babies. I just went to Starbucks (in a Target store) and I felt like every woman in f-ing store was either prego or carrying a car seat. Jealousy feels my veins. Even worse when there is a mother with a boatload of children and she is yelling at half of them. Never would I wish a second of infertility on any of them, NEVER but I cant help but think of them as ungrateful. I KNOW this is just me being jealous. I just know it. And sometimes I look at pregnant woman and think what if she just completed her 3rd round of IVF and is so thankful to be pregnant she can hardly stand it. What if she has been trying for year and years and mortgaged her home ten times over. Maybe the women who have been trying and trying send off a different vibe then those who just climbed in bed and ta-da, pregnant. Again I am just being jealous. So I just hope the day I am cruising around Target 9 months pregnant I don't make a motherless woman jealous. Maybe I should just stay out of Target all together.

1 comment:

Four babies 4 us said...

There are worse places to go than Target if you want to see baby bumps everywhere...I had to keep my sanity by realizing that another woman's ability to have a child would NEVER change mine, and God doesn't have a finite number of babies out there to pass around. So, if a woman was pregnant, that doesn't mean she had taken one of mine. My babies were still waiting to be born.
This whole journey will teach you so much, and I have no doubt that you will soon be a "mean mommy" just like me :o)