I would LOVE to pick them up today!!!!!

Why cant I just have them???? Just hand them over and I promise to love them with all my heart and soul. I am sick of, "if this", "if that". Why cant the stars be aligned right NOW!!!!!!!??????!!!!!!

Someone give me some babies :)

K.A. get your tissues ready before you open this link.

http://www.adoptuskids.org/child/ChildView.aspx?id=37942

Aren't they soooooooo cute!!!!!!!!! Pre-made and ready to go!!!!!!! 

P.S. Someone please get me a job bagging groceries where I don't have access to the internet and I can turn my focus on how shitty the public treats the service industry. It's either that or I search for babies all GD day. Lord help me!!

P.S.S. Not sure who this "someone" is I keep talking to but if its YOU then get on your duties and Jen get some babies :)

Dreamland

Two nights ago I had a dream that is still with me. It was vivid. Sometimes I love those dreams. The lighting, the smell, the way it felt was so real.

I had a dream "someone" gave me a baby boy. This baby was not a newborn. He was about three months old with a tuft of blonde curly hair on top of his little head. He was dressed in a pure white sweater outfit. It was thick and cozy. He smelled so good and was very mellow. I was just walking around holding him. The lighting in my dream was amazing. It was dusk and full of purple and blue colors. The baby was snuggled up with his face buried in my neck. Everyone I knew was around and they were all so happy for us. I just remember feeling at total peace.

I woke up feeling strange. Upset that it wasn't true but also very grateful I was able to have such a vivid dream. It stayed with me all morning. I can still smell the clean little baby.

Weird.

Tubal pregnancy preventer

So to make myself feel better I would like to change the name from "birth control pill" to "tubal pregnancy preventer!!! I don't need BIRTH control for crying out loud. I need tubal pregnancy protection. I like the way that sounds much, much better.

Can I get an AMEN!!!!!!!

We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us.

- Joseph Campbell

Time Out

We are taking a TIME OUT. The stress of collecting the remaining funds feels so forced and I hate the stress its causing me. While we have a great deal of the money needed already the remaining amount isn't as easy to get as the first half :) And thats really ok. I can wait. I just need a break from thinking about all of this IVF business. I know, I am only getting older and time is not on my side but the stress this is causing me doesn't seem the least bit healthy. So time to regroup, save the remaining amount needed, get my head on straight and start up again when ready. I have my fur babies and a great husband and for now that's all I need. Some day, some way we will have babies rather they be "ours" or not we will :)